Spiritual Process


The older I get, the more I realize that life and art are both spiritual processes, and the visual journal has solidified that attitude in my mind. Except for an agnostic/atheist phase in my late teens and early 20s, I have always been a spiritual person - not in an organized religion or new agey kind of way. But I have always felt that the world was held together by forces far greater than we as individuals, and that feeling was always reinforced on solitary hikes in the woods or while leading journal workshops. I have been awed by nature and my connection to it, and I have been awed by the power of the journal. I have seen lives change because people have connected with themselves in the journal.

I think for me that is what this spiritual process is all about - connecting. It is first an individual process - a looking inward and connecting with all aspects of ourselves. Then it is an external process of connecting with others and helping them on their individual journeys through life. Happiness is within us and not with material objects, the love of another, or ordained on us by fate. All beings want to be happy and do not want to suffer, but that happiness cannot come from wealth, electronic gadgets, fancy cars, a young, attractive spouse, or a lavish home. It comes from turning inward and helping others.

Mindfulness

It seems that every waking moment our minds are occupied with a tremendous amount of thoughts. No matter whether we are driving in the car, taking a shower, or trying to go to sleep, our minds are awash in a whole range of thoughts. Much of time we think about the past - the would'ves, should'ves, and could'ves - as we relive various moments regretting some and reveling in others. And the rest of the time we are occupied with thoughts of the future whether it's a mental to-do list for the day or the dream of when we have more time and money. But it is fair to say that we think very little about the present moment which leads to the paranoid feeling that we forgot to lock the front door or that we have driven many miles and are surprised when we suddenly arrive at our destination with no recollection of the journey. We seem to be on autopilot as we go on with the business of our day worrying and thinking about so much other stuff that we forget to live in the moment.

Recently I have been working on being more mindful of myself in the present moment. It began dawning on me recently during a vacation to the beach as I sat and watched the waves. The waves rolled in one after another, and though I began to think about riding my body board, I quickly found myself just being there watching the waves. Thoughts about grabbing my board, where we would eat lunch, or what waited us when we got back home just slipped away. It was as if I had become part of the wave as it moved toward the beach. I felt that sensation several times during our six day stay, and each time I sat for hours just watching the waves, listening to their crashes, and feeling the breeze blowing. I was very present in the moment and very mindful of the waves, the sun, the breeze, the people, and the sand.I have also been reading quite a bit of Buddhist writings including the Dalai Lama, and mindfulness is a key component that these various writers bring up. Being present for each moment and being mindful of that experience whether it is eating, meditating, or walking can help eliminate distracting thoughts and dispel afflictive emotions.

So, I have tried to be more mindful as I go through my days. My biggest mindful experiment was a recent hike. Usually as I hike, thoughts of all kind flash through my mind - everything from thoughts about previous hikes to imaginary conversations to ideas for future books and blog posts. And often miles can go by and I find myself thinking "How did I get here already? I don't remember passing that one part of the trail." Basically my thoughts take over, and my body moves through the woods without paying much attention to my surroundings. I find that I often cannot remember large pieces of the trail.

This past week I tried to hike while being more mindful of myself and the hike. It wasn't easy. I found all kinds of thoughts entering my mind, and I simply acknowledged them, and let them go always bringing my thoughts back to the hike. I looked around much more as I hiked, I "listened" to my body so that I did not get winded, and I trusted that my feet would find the best spots to step so that I wasn't hiking with my eyes staring at my feet scouting out each step. And whenever a stray thought entered, I just tried to let it go. I didn't allow myself to follow the thought and get caught up in reliving the past or trying to plan the future. I let it go and turned my thoughts back to the hike. I found myself hiking more softly and gracefully. I didn't plod along tripping over rocks and stomping down the trail. I felt much more like a deer moving through the woods ever on the look out for trouble.

It was an amazing experience, and though I hiked that section of trail a hundred times or more, that was the first time that I really experienced the hike. I can remember the hike much more vividly. Everyday now, I try to find more ways of being present and being mindful.

Disconnected

The above two page spread is from my current journal. I recently set up a makeshift photo studio and shot many of my journal pages from my last two journals. I am hoping to share more of them over the weeks to come.

This spread began with the large stylized self-portrait in the center, and I soon after added the web-like, black ink lines and blue watercolor pencil on the right-hand side. It remained in that state for quite some time, months in fact, as I began and worked on other pages. I just was at a loss. I couldn't think of what to add next, and it lacked direction. Finally, after looking back over these pages time and time again, something needed to happen, so I just started adding random things to the pages - the collage elements, the blue watercolor on the left hand side, the random rectangles, and the green watercolor pencil. I added the word "disconnected" and the writing after feeling very much disconnected from my art and my journal. I finished off the spread with the yellow, acrylic spheres floating.

When I began this spread, I had no idea where it was going to end. And my approach reflected those feelings of stagnation and disconnection. The art flows much more easily when I am in the middle of it - when I get a head of steam and am constantly working. But if I get torn away for a while with work, family, or sheer laziness, it is difficult to get back in the groove and allow things to flow. Sometimes I just have to dive head first into a page and just do something even if it has no rhyme or reason. Art is risky.

This spread evolved over months, and it took a while for it to find it's voice. My pages seem to do that a lot. I can't force something, and so the pages evolve. I have even done a little more to this spread since taking the photo a couple of weeks ago.

Art like life is always in a state of becoming.

A Walk in the World

The weather today was absolutely perfect, and I couldn't bare to be inside, so I decided to take my journal and my camera for a walk around town. I walked slowly and intentionally with camera in hand carefully observing the small world that is Purcellville, VA. I intentionally walked without distractions such as my iPod, and I silenced my phone. I wanted to soak up the beautiful sun shine, the drier air, and cooler temperatures, and I wanted to observe my world deliberately.
I began in my own front yard, and snapped the above photo of the echinacea in wife's flower garden.
I always pass this grassy lane on my routine walks around town. I have often wondered what is at the end of it.
Looking for a place to sit so that I could pull out my journal, I ended up in front of Magnolias at the Mill. Magnolias is a very nice restaurant and bar in Purcellville that once was an actual mill, and since it was the best view from where I was sitting, I decided to draw the facade. After a quick sketch (I later added the blue in the studio), I popped inside for a cold beverage. It was a pleasant way to spend the afternoon.

In other news, I stopped by a local bookstore later in the day to pick up the latest issue of Cloth Paper Scissors (below). A friend recently told me that The Journal Junkies Workshop was reviewed by the editor. See the review below. It is definitely nice to see good word of our book in a popular magazine with a large readership.

Loss

Today our oldest kitty lost his battle with a recent illness that saw him wither slowly as he lost weight. But he was spirited up until the end, and he fought hard. It's a difficult loss coming just two months after the loss of our dog Rudy.

But I will cherish the memories of him. He would curl up behind my wife or me on the sofa as we watched tv and place his head on one of our shoulders content to be snuggling closely. From the same position he would often try to snatch potato chips and Doritos as we snacked on them. He was a bit of a stinker in that way, but most orange tabbies have that mischievous streak. He would often plant himself firmly on my wife's pillow and sprawl across her neck and shoulders especially on cold mornings, and my wife never seemed to mind. And he was known to strike out at any of our dogs who just happen to enter his personal space. He was top cat in the house, but he was such a sweet boy.

We will miss him tremendously.

Family

I think about my recent successes, and I am grateful that I have a supportive family. I've mentioned my wife and her wonderful encouragement and support before on this blog, but not my parents or siblings. Actually, I haven't shared too much personal. But looking to post something new, I came across this photo taken at the book launch party, and knew I wanted to mention something about family - not to go too personal, but to take an opportunity and thank my family.

Despite being very different than my parents, my sister, and my brother, I am grateful for their support and encouragement. I am certain that I would not be where I am if it hadn't been for them. If it weren't for sibling rivalry and sharing, I wouldn't be the artist that I am. Being the "family artist" I always had to outshine my brother in any artistic pursuit - from drawing characters from the comics to drawing portraits of our cousins, and it was my sister who taught me all about the art concepts she learned in high school art. I was in middle school, and I was awed by one point and two point perspective. And my parents never discouraged my countless hours of drawing. But the biggest thing that my parents taught me was to believe in myself. If it wasn't for that belief, I never would have gone to college. I never would have moved so far away, and this life - my wife, my teaching, the journal and the book - would have never been possible. I am grateful for that belief.

I look back all all that I have achieved, and my family has been a part of the success - not always directly. But they are there - the foundation and my roots. I want to thank my mom and my dad, my sister and my brother for always being there for me.

Book Launch Party

I am finally getting around to posting some photos from our book launch party that we held on Saturday, June 5. Our friend Linda hosted the party at the Hill School in Middleburg, VA - a small, private school. About 50-60 family members, friends, and colleagues came out that night to celebrate with us - some coming from great distances, and it was truly a great night.

In the photo above (taken by Linda), Dave and I sign copies of the book, and in the photo below (taken by my friend and colleague Al) we settle a disagreement about whose signature is actually cooler. Dave is such a brute.

I especially appreciated the fact that my family drove the 4.5 hours down from southwestern Pennsylvania. It was special to be able to celebrate with them. The photo below (also taken by Al) shows the beautiful space we had at the Hill School.

Dave and I are grateful to everyone who came out to help us celebrate, to Linda for setting us up with such a great location and playing the excellent hostess, to our friends and families for being there and snapping photos, and to anyone who bought a book. Let's face it - it's all about the money. It was a very special evening.

An Everything Book: Allowing Life to Enter

With the reviews for The Journal Junkies Workshop popping up on various blogs and on Amazon.com, I've been thinking about what separates the Journal Fodder Junkies' approach from many that are out there. I think it boils down to one thing: We use the journal as an Everything Book. I know that I have brought this up in other posts, but I want to bring it up again. We don't worry about having "pretty" pages or finished pages or deep, thoughtful pages. We merely throw everything in there. It is a place to heap our thoughts, our ideas, our experiences, and our experiments. The depth, meaning, and completeness emerge and develop as the journal becomes that living document of life.

These two pages illustrate that point perfectly. There's the mundane - a key card sleeve from an Asheville Sleep Inn, a Burt's Bees lip balm package, and the doodles. There's the special - a flyer from a friends art exhibit (which I unfortunately did not see). There's the reflective and the deep - the truth quote and the list of reflections. There's the finished and the unfinished.

Many people get caught up in making these finished works of art for each page with deep themes and related imagery, and that's fine. Each person works in the journal his or her own way, but we approach the journal as a catchall - a place to dump ourselves, store memories, and process life. It is a special place simply because there is the freedom to include all of life - a scrap of envelope, a meaningful quote, a photo, or a random thought. And like life, the journal isn't always polished, complete, deep, and extraordinary. It can be messy, random, and unfinished.

So, I encourge people to break out of their normal journal habits, and try something different - try to bring in more of everyday life or try a different media or try a different mode of working. Allow the journal to reflect you and your life more.