Challenge #32: Visions of Myself

Do you see yourself living your dream or living a life of want, longing, and regret?

A synonym of the word “dream” is “vision”. Often our vision of ourselves can directly affect whether or not we achieve our dreams. We have a clear picture in our minds of ourselves, but unfortunately that picture is often distorted by self talk, doubts, fears, and personal mythologies. Interrogate these visions of yourself to see if they hold up to scrutiny. Stop getting in your own way, and start visualizing yourself living the life you dream about.

How do you see yourself? What can you do to see yourself in a more honest and authentic light? How could a clearer, truer vision of yourself help move you toward that dream?

Direction of Intention

 

Over the years I have noticed a pattern in my life - periods of intense energy, activity, and focus followed by periods of exhaustion, stagnation, and confusion. This is a cycle that seems to pass at pretty regular intervals, and I must say that I am in the latter part of the cycle now. I have been intensely busy since last spring devoting energy to many new opportunities and filling my time with travel to new places and making new art. Now I am in a lull. The activity has subsided, I don’t need to exert so much energy. I look at my calendar and see that it is pretty wide open. I’m still making new art, but a feeling of exhaustion and stagnation has crept over me. Perhaps it’s the time of the year. As one year ends and a new one begins, I become very reflective and try to make some sense of the past year and try to set a course for the new one.

This year, however, I feel exceptionally exhausted. And it seems that with great frequency, I reflect on how tired I am both physically and mentally. I think that I am just tired of being tired. That’s it - I am tired of being tired - tired of being grumpy - tired of feeling like I’m not living - tired of waiting. I am tired of waiting for the right time, the right opportunity, the right situation, the right circumstance. Perhaps I am not where I want to be, but how can I begin to live that life now at this very moment and begin a substantial movement to that place I want to be?

I am ready for a change - something new - growth in a new direction. I am ready to take the next step. I’m just not certain how to take it. I know what I wish for my life. I can envision it, but there seems to be so many obstacles that are standing in my way. The only step that I can see now that is not a drastic, quit-my-job-that-pays-the-bills-and-hope-for-the-best kind of change, but small changes where I reach out more - to do little things that can begin to shift the momentum in the direction I want to go. I want to do as Patti Digh suggests in Creativity is A Verb, and focus on the direction of my intention. I can sit around and wallow and moan about how tired I am and about how I’m not living the life I envision, and sing the whole woe-is-me song. Or I can start to do something about it now. I can literally and metaphorically get off of my lazy ass and do something that points me in the direction I need to go. In order to create the world that I envision, I need to “get busy living or get busy dying.” (I love the movie Shawshank Redemption).

I have begun a journey - a journey that I plan on sharing with anyone willing to tag along. As part of that, I have a few projects in the works - ways to open myself, reach out, and allow my voice to ring out. I'll be sharing those later as I wrap them up. I hope that you will tag along.

Challenge #31: Dreams and Nightmares

What do you fear most about trying to achieve your dreams?

Along with dreams come nightmares. These may be nightmares that we have while sleeping, or the worst case scenarios that we experience when we are awake. For many of us, it is impossible to imagine our dreams without imagining the nightmare. We think of all the reasons why it won’t and can’t work out. We balk at the fear, trip ourselves up, and hold ourselves back. Acknowledge your dreams and nightmares, and shine light into your darkness. Don’t let the possible nightmares squelch your dreams. Confront the negativity as a means to overcome it and move beyond it.

What are your dreams? What are the corresponding nightmares? What are your worst case scenarios? How can you overcome your nightmares?

Challenge #30: Daydreams

What thoughts, ideas, and scenarios flash through your mind throughout the day?

Our thoughts can very easily float away from us during the day. We may be sitting in a meeting, and our minds may wander because the meeting doesn’t hold our attention. We may daydream as we drive to work or to the store, or we may just sit and think allowing thoughts and ideas to come and go at will. Pay attention to these times, and record and embrace these meanderings of the mind that we call daydreams. They seem like whims, but they are peeks and glimpses into what we want and need the most. Pay attention to the fleeting thoughts that pop up throughout your day and document them so that you don’t forget.

Where does your mind go when it isn’t actively engaged? What are your daydreams? Do they hold clues about your bigger dreams and hopes?

Art Unraveled 2012

Journal Page by Dave

The Journal Fodder Junkies will be returning to Phoenix in 2012 for Art Unraveled where we will be teaching two all-day workshops. The dates for Art Unraveled are July 30-August 7, and we will be teaching August 1 and 2.

Wednesday, August 1, 9:00 AM - 4:30 PM
Personal Histories and Mythologies
We have all have our stories. As we deal with our present, we are consistently rewriting our pasts, whether romanticizing or demonizing ourselves. Like it or not, we are defined by the events that have transpired during our lives. This is a process we all engage in to face our uncertain futures. We continually edit the scripts and dialogues running through our heads to reinforce the myths and the stories we construct to define and articulate our lives.

What is your story? What is your history? What are the mysteries of your life? What are the stories that you have told yourself over and over to the point that you believe them and accept them?


This mixed-media workshop focuses on the personal and private use of the visual journal as a powerful tool for self-reflection and self-discovery. Learn to mix a variety of art techniques and media with personal ephemera and reflective writing to explore the stories that you tell about yourself and investigate the mysteries of your life. Bring images, memorabilia, and other ephemera that will help tell the story of YOU. Rose tinted glasses optional.

Thursday, August 2, 9:00 AM - 4:30 PM
Transitional Spaces
Are you looking to transform your artwork or your visual journal from a static surface to a dynamic, interactive space? Are you looking for ways to create richly layered spaces within and between your pieces?

This mixed-media workshop delves into creating this layered and nuanced interaction within and between works whether they are pages in a journal or stand alone pieces. Discover ways to give your artistic endeavors an extra kick as you explore how to incorporate transitional spaces that bring surprise, interactivity, connection, and hybridity to your art. Learn about windows, doorways, pockets, secret passages, and more as you consider and reconsider how spaces and pages interact and create a dialogue. Make artwork that opens up, flips out, and unfolds into other realms.

Although it is more than 7 months away, registration is open now. We're hoping to pack both of our workshops, and we hope to see you there. Please check out the Art Unraveled website for more information on workshops and registration.

Challenge #29: Dream Journal

What are you dreaming about?

We all have dreams, actual night visions that dance through our sleeping minds, as well as our hopes and aspirations. Document both kinds of dreams. Keep your journal or, at least, some paper next to your bed, and when you wake throughout the night or first thing in the morning, jot down your dreams before you forget them. Elaborate on these visions, and reflect on their contents and meanings. Keep pen and paper close at hand during the day and write down your dreams, your hopes, and your aspirations. Reflect on these thoughts and musings. This type of documentation becomes fertile soil for your intentions.

What are you dreaming about at night when you sleep? What are the details and the nuances of the dreams? Do you have reoccurring dreams? What are you dreaming about when you are awake? What are those aspirations? What do you dream about and hope for?

Challenge #28: Just Let Go

How can you step out of your scripts and just let go?

We encounter many things in life that make us stand still - a lost love or a broken heart, getting laid off or being skipped over for a promotion, or falling victim to bad advice or broken promises. We can’t control these situations, but we can control how we react to them. We run these things through our minds over and over as fears of inferiority and inadequacy invade our thoughts. We struggle with thoughts of how we don’t measure up to the abilities or achievements of others getting caught up in our scripts and self-talk. Don’t give in and allow the doubt to take over your decision making. Let go of your hesitation, and understand that you can do anything that you dedicate your energy to fulfilling.

Do you constantly compare yourself to others? Do you still hold on to the idea that ‘perfect’ exists? Do you always seem to find a way to talk yourself out of the things you want most? What scripts or self-talk do you most want to let go of? Can you find ways of letting go?

Reflections

Today is my 38th birthday, and with it being so close to the end of the year, my birthday is always a time for reflection. It has become my habit to journal about those thoughts, meditations, and reflections, but following the lead of last year, I wanted to share my thoughts here. Also, like last year, I wanted to share a piece of art that I made stating my rules for the studio. I adapted these from Patti Digh as well as others, and you can read my take on these rules here. Feel free to print this artwork out and post it in your studio or work space.


I am in the process of uncluttering my life. I am amazed out how much stuff - both emotional and physical - has accumulated in my life. When you are in a place long enough, stuff just seems to pile up. The uncluttering began earlier in the year when I moved my studio from the guest bedroom to the garage, and I sorted through so much and got rid of so much. It continued as my wife decided to go through the countless boxes, bins, and bags in our crawl space. And over the last month, I have sorted through old toys, letters, keepsakes, memorabilia, and all sorts of other stuff. I was amazed at what I have held onto for all of these years. I decided to keep only the most treasured and sentimental things, and rid myself of everything else. Most of it went into a number of trash bags, the paper stuff went into the recycling bin, and some if it will go to the second hand store. And all the while, I felt myself clinging to these things and hesitating to get rid of it all. But the realization that it all would just sit in the boxes and bins being all useless and simply taking up space allowed me to let go.

I am just holding onto the most important things and letting go of that which simply does not matter. I am freeing myself of the past that has followed me all of these years and has weighed me down. All of this stuff has taken up space for growth, and I am shedding it and making room. There is still so much more to go through, so much more room to free up, but I am working through it.

What would happen if we simply let go? What if we held onto the most dear pieces and just let go of all the rest? Could we free ourselves and give ourselves some much needed room to grow?

Challenge #27: Bury the Doubt

How can you bury the doubt and champion your hopes, dreams, and aspirations?

We are our own worst critics, focusing on the negative things about our work and about ourselves, especially when we stumble and fall. However, we can be our own biggest cheerleaders, by seeing mistakes and disappointments as opportunities for growth and perseverance, but we must silence the nagging doubts. Picking ourselves up when we have fallen affirms the power we possess to overcome the misgivings and uncertainties that we have been placed upon ourselves. In order to rally towards greater achievements, we must learn from our defeats, bury our doubts, and move forward.

What are you doubting? What inadequacies have you convinced yourself of? How have you persevered through the rough patches, and uncovered your self confidence?

New Work

Search, 5"x7"

I have been busy as usual with school, home, and life in general, but I have been able to experiment with new materials and a new paper in a variety of new works. These two works were created with a process that has become my usual modus operandi lately. See Spontaneity vs. Structure for more details about the process.

Using Strathmore's new 400 series mixed media paper as my surface, I layered Derwent Inktense pencils first, and then used Prismacolor colored pencil to finish them. (You can see parts of these in progress in this post - they're peaking out beside and underneath the Inktense pencils.) I like the variety of colors offered by the Inktense pencils, and I am trying to rethink my color choices so I'm not always going back to the same colors again and again. I am liking the Inktense so far.

I have recently experimented with Strathmore's hot press watercolor paper, but it has a slight texture which interferes with the fine detail work of the colored pencil. The mixed media paper is weighted like watercolor paper, but has a smooth surface, making it good for my process. The paper is a little "soft" making it a little difficult to get the really dark values with the pencil, but overall, I am quite pleased with it.

Structure 1, 5"x7"